Scrabbled

"Baby take it easy one me!" Utada Hikaru- Come Back to Me-

This rut is just getting bigger. I'm not feeling so down. In fact I'm feeling a bit more free. I'm changing jobs, which is always a bit hard, but I truly believe that it's for the better. I also registered for all my courses and got them. I had a feeling I would for once.

As for the rut. Well! I haven't run since last Thursday or Friday when I hurt my knees, which are still stiff and my neck. I say I hurt my neck in Taekwon-do from running into the man we've nicknamed "The Wall" because he's unmovable. I run into him every night in seems, though it's usually just me beating up my toes.

Lycoris Radiata refuses to come out on paper. It's all in my head, but it just won't show itself to the physical world. I got a total kick to the confidence last week when I gave out a sample verse to a couple of friends who in turn did not understand it at all. I don't know if it was because of context or that it's just too...deep? I began to question its purpose again. I'm not giving up, but I do find it hard to pick up on the inspiration to write like crazy again. What I need is to literally have no time again. When I'm in school, I want to do all kinds of things besides studying. I write tons, I like to play games, and read, and all that stuff. However, now that I have all the time in the world to do it, I don't have an urge to.

Normally, I have a list of things I want to accomplish over the summer, but this year I didn't do that. I want to be more spontaneous (haha, me?) and just do what I want.

Anyway, I hope I can jump back on the band wagon soon. I got my free training log from RunnersWorld the other day. I intend to use it too! I foresee that this will be easier when I'm back in school and have the gym at my disposal.

Oh! I know I'm jumping topics a lot, but I haven;t posted in a while and a lot of things can happen in just a day. I've got about four more years on my school, and I've deduced that if I save ten dollars a week I should have enough money to at least get me started in Japan. Whether it's for a trip or for work I don't know yet. Most of the details are foggy right now, since a lot can change in four years. I still plan on going to Sendai, which I know will require a plan to Tokyo, and a train ride up the island. Haha, I enjoy passing my time dreaming of the future too much.

I'll end this here before it gets any more confusing. I have to run and get ready for my four hour shift now. Might have a clearer message after I get some exercise in today.

Busy day tomorrow, Taekwon-do testing (going to watch my dear friends), then work, then Taekwon-do party. Fun fun.

Looking forward to the weekend with friends AND family,

A.J. Ryan