The milk is empty....

"You still are blind, if you see a winding road, 'cause there's always a straight way to the point you see." Akeboshi -Wind-

It's Friday, and the milk is empty. The webradio refuses to work, on the interesting channel at least, and I'm staring into a month that only seems to be building more stress and more mess.

This week has felt disastrous. However, I would like to think that it just seemed that way due to an extra emotional state thanks to the time of the month. Which hasn't been so bad as of yet. I'm normally the most unbearable person to be around, even for myself. So I'd like to think I'm doing pretty good this month.

I would also like to give the thanks to the morning exercise I've done the past two days. I only wish that I could do it more often, like twice a day. The good feelings generally wear off by the afternoon. Sometimes, especially when staring down this great monster of jumbled tasks and errands I must do, I wish I could just leave it all behind and just keep walking on. On and on, until my mind is actually clear, not murky. If I knew how, I'd let it all go, but in reality that would be the end. When I let go, I forget, and then it effects other people, and hurts more in the end. I think what I like about running and walking is that I can forget for a while, I can feel nothing if I want to, and I can fully dream and create in my mind what the future could be like, unaffected by the past, or by the present obstacles. Like my quote says, if you can see it, it's possible to get there, and there's really no need for struggle.

So, I conclude to leave the milk for my mother's tea tomorrow morning and eat some yogurt instead. I switch to the jazz channel on the web radio, and try my best to relax. Things will work out over time, and I only have to deal with them when they meet me face to face. Tomorrow I will do the groceries for another week, and make a day for myself, finally visit the running store, spend as long as I like in the book store, maybe even eat out at a cafe or something. I can grumble about my long hours of work when I'm there, on Monday, standing around, watching the clock.


Hoping to be able to fit in some run/walks this weekend,


A.J. Ryan